This past week has reintroduced the concept of daymares to me.
Oddly enough it is not my children, who are experiencing them, but me. I started out by having an awful nightmares/half waken nightmare about Noah falling down the stairs at school. Now, I can’t seem to stop. The minute I am not on the move, the daymares start. All kinds of scenarios threatened to outplay themselves and I have to consciously will them out of my head, either by thinking of something really important (can be difficult at times) or doing an activity.
This has so far resulted in a sore back, an annoyed son and a knitting project for my laptop.
As always when something goes on a little too long, I stop and contemplate what brought it on. Why now when Noah is actually not at a particular risk, do I start fearing/imagining the loss of him? I can assure you that he has been is real peril many times, where I sucked it up and faced the dread. So why now?
Maybe it is just the psyche processing some of the things it never really has time to process? Could be guilt I suppose? Or fear of letting go?
Whatever it may be, I have decided that at least it is not a preview of things to come. Or that is, I decided that after talking to the school about keeping an extra eye on him…